strangely beautiful with a midday snack

Met my therapist today.
Always like my weeks sunrise, i feel strong and like i CAN DO THIS! ...ehh.. life.. Do life?!
yesterday was a really shitty day, today its raining and the wind is strong, purge...
ive started a selfhelping program for my eating problems.. It also feels like a purge. We are so trained to think that a healthy, "normal" women body look kind of like this =

Not reaaaallly skinny but....

...super fresh...

..and slim..

And this is simple... Everybody "knows" this is wrong. But im sorry we are just human. When we define the model of being human so many times over and over again, in the newspapers, on tv, in books etc... WE LEARN because we are SMART. So this is what we "want" to look like. Not to hate ourselves, because we love ourselfves. Not because we are stupid, easy to fool and brainwashed, because we are smart. Our reaction is a healthy reaction on a unhealthy  society.


I can speak for myself and tell you all that if im so "healthy" that i look like that, i must hardcore train 3 times a week, then, walk everyday, jogging like 2 times per week. Not eat anything. And loose my period and my fertility and my vitamins, blood and minerals.